What to pray for when your husband is hurting

This particular morning I walked in the kitchen to grab my favorite teal Yeti cup for a morning cup of coffee and as I pressed the button to the Keurig machine, I felt tension in the air. My husband was quiet and that wasn’t normal. He seemed unengaged with family life.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, just dealing with some work issues,” he said.

I was tempted to take on his struggles as my own and respond in an insensitive manner.

Well, life is short. You need to move on. Your family needs your full attention…were the thoughts brewing in my mind.

The Holy Spirit was nudging me to pray and be a helper and encouragement to him – not a hindrance. He was wrestling with conflicts and the best action I could take was to pray. So I kept my mouth shut and just let the air sit still for a while.

Truth is, at some point in our marriages, our husband will hurt inside. We will hurt. And what we do with the aches and pains of life determines a lot. More importantly, how we pray and what we pray for means everything.

As wives, we must remember the power of prayer. When we just don’t know how to help our husbands, prayer is vital.

In prayer, we call upon the One who is greater and fully able to heal and assist our husbands more than we can. We call upon the Holy Spirit for comfort and guidance in our husband’s life. In humility, we ask and wait for God’s will.

When your husband is hurting:

1. Pray for the Lord to bring insight and wisdom into his situation. Wisdom is a precious gift from God, you can always ask for. It’s not something you obtain in your own strength and abilities and it’s such a blessing to pray for wisdom in the life of your husband. Wisdom protects him and guides him into truth- protecting his future too.

“Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” – Prov. 4:6-7

2. Pray for godly counsel from trusted individuals. The value and benefit of your husband seeking out advice and counsel from others will help open his eyes to the paths he should take. While it’s tempting for him to isolate, pray God will help him seek out the wisdom of others who can offer him sound advice.

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”– Prov 11:14

3. Pray for patience, compassion, and understanding in his situation. As wives, sometimes we can be our husband’s greatest stumbling block whether through our own impatience, misunderstanding, or highly charged emotions. Sometimes we grow frustrated along with him, instead of being a support.

Pray for God to give you understanding, strength, and compassion while you wait for the conflict to resolve. Pray for a steadfast spirit as you wait for answered prayers. Don’t lose hope as you choose a heart of compassion and kindness.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”– Colossians 3:12

That morning after my husband left for work, I opened the book, The Power of a Praying Wife. I started praying the scriptures inside it. It was amazing how my attitude changed from one of self-centeredness to one of serving him in his time of need. I was able to step outside my bubble and put myself in his shoes.

I saw how hard it must be for him and felt more strength to help him. God gave me the wisdom I was praying for him. In a matter of days, the work conflict was resolved and there was peace in his heart again.

Don’t ever underestimate the power of praying for your husband. It’s one of the absolute greatest gifts you can ever give him, and even yourself.


Samantha Krieger is a pastor’s wife and mom to 4. She is the author of  Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches. Her writing appears regularly on Her View From Home, TODAY Parenting, TheCourage, and For the Family. Connect with her on Instagramand Facebook

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